Hide, lie and cheat.

When they ask what do you want, what will you say? We don't know. No one knows. Half a smile, half a hug, half a kiss, half a love, half of something. We wouldn't take you whole. No. We couldn't. That'd be selfish and we're on journey of selflessness. Half. Just half. When was half of something too much? I'd take you whole but it won't let me. I dream of vanishing but it won't stay away. I cut deep but the skin doesn't break. We see you. We see us. We'd wish for something, but we don't know what to wish for. We're blind and asleep. Not numb. Not numb anymore. Think we ought to start them again. He says he can feel me crashing. I know it can get worse. I see it. We see it and we laugh and we cry. We see it and hope for it. We're still us. Whatever the fuck that means. We don't write with a purpose no longer. Random pieces of something that was once whole. How can I feel it and not see it? It doesn't make any sense. Nothing we ever do seems right. I hate it. We hate it. We're thirty years old feeling like only ten have come to pass. Where's the rest. Where's the dream. That thing that everyone else seems to have with all the likes and shares and smiles and yo bitch. Where's that dream that we create for ourselves. I must've lost it along the way. We could always hit our head. Do some damage. More damage. Then I see you. We saw you. We remember there's things too good, too beautiful, for us.

How we'll hide it. Lie and cheat our way to our graves. Remembering. Always remembering of that time when we would, could, smile for two.