I

We used to

We were used to

So very far now

I could lie

Make something up

Sometimes I zero out.

I never forget

Never.

I.

Never.

Sitting in this dark corner

Where shadows gulf at me

I still wonder.

99%

Ninety

Nine

Ninety-nine percent

Of what I write

Is hidden

See, I was never ashamed of it

But now I am

It makes me look silly

A weak fool

A couple of lines slip through though

The others are well locked

Waiting

To rot

In despair

Screaming to get out

Shut down only by pure will

Or should I say

Fear and weakness.

I never wanted to be read

Except by you

And you read it all.

I was open book that you closed and tossed away

This metaphor is getting out of hand

Running out of pages

So many things

I've written

So many beautiful

Sad things

Mostly sad.

Can I show you one?

Maybe I can

Maybe I can't

I hear this sound

It's like an image forming inside of me

Imagery

I was never good with it

I like to write what I feel

Except what I feel won't do me any good

Making it public

Won't do my any good

Whatever.

I want to swallow all these pills and be done with it

But I love you

I want to run away and disappear forever

But I love you

Smash my phone to the wall

But I love you

I want to be okay

But I love you

I want to jump

Take the step

Laugh at the cliff

Be hit by a truck

Tie the rope

But I love you

I want to give up

Surrender

Admit defeat

But I love you

Such a sad melody in my head right now

Buzzing inside me

It's like all the cries

All the tears

All the screams 

Decided to say hi

All at once

Hi

HI

HI HI HI

HI HI

HI

HI

hi

h

i

HIIIIII

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I want to be okay

But I love you.

I forget so many things

Only to remember all of them

Randomly

How is this fair?

It isn't

It'll never be.

I said it once

I'll never be too proud

To say I'm sorry

Or I love you

I don't have anything to be sorry about

Not this time

Only that it is over

You're gone

Along with all the love I called my life

I'll never be okay, won't I?

I guess that's all right

Because I love you.