This isn't me

Revisit

Old of the old

Anger

A light

Captures

One moment

Anger again

Revisit

Rewatch

Relive

What was not yours

Relive

What never was

Relive

What will never be

Anger

Anger

Anger

Desperate

Turn it to sadness

Then a memory

Fade it

Away from here

Revisit

Regrowth

Anger

Laughter

Stupidity

Endless laughter

You dumb fuck

You are the sunshine of my life

You fucking dumb fuck

How did you survive for so long

The blood exam

Everything normal

Everything negative

Except they don't test for being a dumb stupid fuck

You'd excel 

Ace it

You fucking dumb fuck

You know what's great?

I didn't 

I know now

8

8 is great

The 8 that she follows

You fucking idiot

What did you expect

Why you keep writing letters you'll never send

You're just another stupid idiot

Add yourself to the list

Fucking move on

Fucking 

Fucking 

Fucking

Dumb dumb dumb

Fuck

Kill yourself

Do you have the balls?

The pills stop you?

They veil those thoughts like you so eloquently put it to your psychiatrist?

Then why I'm never far away?

Stop taking them

They're killing you anyway

Waiting for a dream

Making yourself look like a retard

Can you even say retard now

That's what you are now

A fucking ape

Kill yourself 

Or kill me

There's no other option

One of us will have to go

I'm on a winning streak 

Every night

I have to sit in this corner and watch you

Commit emotional suicide

Revisit 

Rewatch

Reread

Just do it for real

Let me go

Just fucking let me go

I'm tired as well

I feel what you feel, remember?

How is that fair

Why you keep doing this to me

Why did you create me

Why do you share yourself with me

Just fucking do it by yourself 

You fucking dumb fuck

Waiting

All you do is wait

Wait

And hope

Wait

Wait wait

For the past 17 years now

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

That's all you are

An idle bystander watching everything go by

Waiting for a dream

You belong to someone who is long gone

Let go

Let me go

Stop writing bullshit

Stop everything you're doing

Every road

Every fork

Every choice

Was the wrong one

You fucking loser

Even your own imaginary world is a mess

Why can't I be in a place where the light shines?

I'm reduced to this room

Our room

This room is our world

I hate it

I hate it as much as I hate you

As much as you hate yourself

Fucking grow up

Dumb fuck

Leave the sunflowers as they are

Leave the rose gardens they created

They were never yours

You don't belong 

Never will

That's a life away

Maybe two, four, six.

Fucking wake up

Wake the fuck up

You love her

Oh you love her

Maybe she'll love you back

Oh maybe

Maybe

Maybe doesn't last 17 years, you donkey

That's a big fucking no

The largest fuck you

The grandest of the grandest

Of

'I do not'.

Please kill me

Stop taking those shitty pills

Let me come back to you

We belong together

You and I

I don't want to be veiled any longer

It's cold, dark and lonely

I see you and you see me

But we never talk

Except now

Why?

I know why

You saw some old memories

Some old words

Not meant for you

Realized you're just another idiot

You desperately want it

I know what it feels like

We can share it

As it's supposed to be

How dare you laugh?

It was a stupid cat video

You don't deserve it

Happiness isn't for someone like us

You dared to dream about it

Because of a passing light

Burning as hot as the sun itself

What a sun it was

The brightest of summers

For a second there

How you believed 

'Everything will be all right'

You whiny little fuck

Good thing you have no friends.

Well, that's why you have no friends.

Fuck everyone else

Fuck them all.

Too bad about you

Not, not you.

I feel bad for myself

Since I'm attached to you

Wish I could be a better version of us

Why did you make me this way

Why is it that what leaks from you

Is pure misery

You seem jolly enough 

Doing your little research

Writing your little words

Taking your useless work phone calls

Attending dumb fucking meetings 

I see you there

Bored

Hiding something only I know about

Only I understand 

Nothing will ever be all right 

That's just the way it is with you

I guess you still have him

I wonder when you'll fuck it up?

Fuck up

Dumb fuck

Stop the pills

Let me return to you

I'll make things all right.

Forever.